


All Roads Lead Here

by entanglednow



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-02-09
Updated: 2010-02-09
Packaged: 2017-10-14 17:29:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 797
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/151713
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/entanglednow/pseuds/entanglednow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I may be inexperienced but I am not ignorant of the many and varied human sexual practices," Castiel reminds him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	All Roads Lead Here

  
Castiel comes back from wherever the hell he's been and sets a large heavy jar down beside Dean's tacky store bags.

"More special oil?" Dean offers, knocking his fingers on the stone. "There's a joke in there somewhere."

"It's to mix with the blood and the herbs, so the sigils will burn," Castiel explains, patiently.

"You take all the fun out of it, you know that?" Dean complains.

Castiel sighs.

"I realise you find innuendo and humour in general reassuring when you're feeling uncomfortable but it must become wearing when I continually fail to understand your references."

"Maybe I like when you make that disapproving, exasperated face," Dean tells him and pushes over his bags, they slump haphazardly against each other, spilling herbs and spices everywhere.

"You consider it a minor victory when you manage to vex me." Castiel sounds like he finds that bewildering too. Though Dean thinks maybe there's a hint of warmth there as well. Yeah, he likes it, he just pretends he doesn't.

"Pretty much, yeah," Dean says through a grin.

"I may be inexperienced but I am not ignorant of the many and varied human sexual practices," Castiel reminds him.

"Many and varied eh?" Dean can't help laughing at that. "Dude, you have no idea how much that sounds like a come on."

Castiel frowns at him.

"The ritual will involve partial nudity and there will be some residual energy which you may find arouses you. So if you wish to have sex afterwards I will not object," the angel says carefully.

Dean's not entirely sure he's heard that right. Because...what?

"What?"

"I love you," Castiel says simply, easily, while he sorts through the bag Dean has slid across the table. "And I believe sex is still an expression of that, if both parties are agreeable."

Dean struggles for something, _anything_ to say. Because one minute they're talking about finding ancient angelic weapons and the next he's being told that he can -

"You - wait, what? How can you just _say_ that?" Dean feels like he's missed an important part of this conversation. The part where they ended up talking about it being ok for them to have sex, because Dean's pretty sure they skipped over that part.

And the part where Castiel loves him.

"I've made you uncomfortable," Castiel says carefully. He looks uncomfortable now too, face carefully expressionless rather than blank. "I'm sorry, that wasn't my intention. I can ask Sam to help me with the ritual."

Which is just - no, _hell_ no. _Absolutely_ not a chance.

Dean catches the angel's sleeve, pulls him to a stop.

"No, hey, stop. I never said that. I never said _no_ , damn it."

"You never said yes," Castiel says quietly, pointedly. Like they're going to argue over who started it.

Dean doesn't let go, can't let go.

"You didn't exactly give me a chance to - those aren't usually the sort of things you just _blurt_ out Cas?" Dean says, and he can't help but make it sound like an accusation. "You can't expect me to just -"

"I would never expect you to do anything," Castiel's voice is low but firm. Like it's the honest truth. Castiel expects nothing, he's never expected anything in return. But suddenly it's ok, it's all ok, because he _loves_ him.

It's insane and maybe even a little ridiculous. Cas is an angel for God's sake, still pretty much new out the box despite the way his powers are coming to a stall and the fact that he's finally getting some of the jokes. And now he's - what, just going to let Dean burn off a little post sex magic tension with him? It kind of makes something clench in his throat. Because he knows he doesn't deserve it. He doesn't have the right to do that, no matter what Cas thinks. And he's willing to lie and say he never thought about it, never dreamed about it. About what it would be like with someone that knew all the bad shit and didn't care- loved him anyway-

But Castiel deserves better.

"I make my own choices," Castiel says quietly. "I learned to make my own choices for you."

Dean's left with his hands gripping, twisting in Castiel's coat. That damn coat he never takes off. Strange and never-changing, a flare of distance between them.

"Cas, I don't do this - not with a - I've never -"

"Neither have I," Castiel says quietly because apparently he knows how to translate Dean's messed up broken sentences.

"Cas," Dean says helplessly, because Castiel makes it sound so easy. Like it's something they can just do. Something that Dean won't mess up and break into pieces.

"I have faith in you," Castiel says simply.

Which is maybe the most terrifying part of it all.

  



End file.
